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Submitted on
September 30, 2012
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2.3 MB
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1600×1600
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Ino's Sticky Lesson by solidzesnake Ino's Sticky Lesson by solidzesnake
Ino has gotten herself into another tight and sticky situation, wrapped and helpless what will become of our cute ninja?

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:iconriyostraint:
Alright. This one looks crit worthy.

There are some things that I'm actually really liking, but I'm going to start off with some of the things you need to fix first. First thing is to try to make the composition less symmetrical. See how the right edge of the thought bubble cuts the composition in half? Try to avoid that. Also, the abundance of long, vertical shapes (mainly the trees and the figures) that are evenly spaced throughout the entire composition is creating a bit of a static, repetitive feel that makes the artwork a little bit uninteresting. The more dynamic, diagonal shapes created by the webs are helping to break this up a little bit, but I think the placement of those trees right now is mainly what's holding your composition back.

Having the spider popping its head from the corner of the composition right now isn't working too well. I think the spider can be placed in a corner area, so long as we can see a good amount of the spider's body so it reads first (visual hierarchy here should be, in the order from first to last: Ino, spider, foreshadowing of impending doom in Ino's mind). I think this idea would have greatly benefited from a more dynamic angle, perhaps--and this being my own idea--with the spider on top left facing away from the viewer (the important part being that we can see the spider's body) as it is moving towards Ino. With ideas like this, the use of perspective and framing gives you so much more storytelling power. Definitely don't take such principles for granted.

I still think there are some things regarding perspective and forms that you don't quite understand yet. This is something I can't fully explain to you in a crit, so let me know if you want me to do some simple demos for you (during my free time, of course). The main thing is that I feel that you are still somewhat limited to two axises for your perspective (vertical and horizontal); note that I said somewhat, because I cans see that your structure is allowing you draw some things in rotated form. Now, let's just look at Ino's right leg in her thought bubble. Right now, it's rotating in such a way that makes her leg look broken. This tells me that you are struggling in rotating forms while keeping the volume of the forms consistent, or are afraid to do so. Now, I'm not chastising you for it, since that sort of thing takes a LOT of practice to get down (hell, I still struggle with it to this day). However, you want to make sure to practice it enough so that you can do it for the sake of clarity in storytelling (so you don't accidentally draw broken limbs or whatnot).

With that out of the way, I want to talk to you about what is starting to work.

Now, the main thing that I really like about this is how clear most of the composition is. The silhouettes are clear and reading very quickly (with the exception of the spider) which gives me a really quick read as to what is going on. I actually like how simple the composition feels because the image as a whole feels a lot less cluttered than some of your other artworks. Because of this, the image does feel, as an overall, more pleasant to look at.

Another part of your composition that is working towards your advantage is the the directional rhythm created by the shapes that you've placed in your composition. See how the webs and the thought bubbles lead up towards the spider? While the spider's placement is very disadvantageous towards the composition, the directional rhythm that you've put down is doing a good job at guiding the eye to where you want the viewer to go. Definitely keep playing around with that in a way that you can perhaps get the eye to loop around the composition. The Gestalt principle is key; our minds will connect dots and create paths that don't directly exist. Use it to your advantage!

My last practical advice would be to do a lot of thumbnails of your ideas before each image; plan things out well so you can knock the bad compositions out before you start drawing. The idea is to get rid of your Jar Jar Binks. Just think of how much better The Phantom Menace would have been without the Gungans....now use that mindset to work out your artwork!

Anyhow, that concludes this crit. Hope it all helps!

Keep it up!
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconfirest:
RiyoAlt did a far more exhaustive critique of your picture from a technical standpoint than I ever could, all I can say on that front is that I found the art decent but agree that the placement of both the thought bubble and spider are awkward.

The main bulk of my own critique comes from the fact that I am a bit confused as to what story you are trying to tell in this series of images.

Ino is trapped, being menaced by a spider, and is imagining...what exactly? Is she imagining how she would escape if she were wearing a different outfit? Is she thinking back to the last time she was caught in a giant spider's web? Or is she spending her last moments wondering how to coordinate purple ninja uniforms with web gags? Looking at the picture I have no idea why she's thinking what she is.

You mention in the comments that you are writing a story to go with this image and I expect that would clear up my questions. But a few words posted with the pic would have helped immensely, because I'm afraid as a story the image doesn't stand on it's own.
What do you think?
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:iconhunter2045:
Hunter2045 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
Very nice.
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:iconsolidzesnake:
solidzesnake Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks
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:iconforestwolfdragon:
ForestWolfDragon Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Ino Ino Ino...You've been a bad bad girl ;).
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:iconsolidzesnake:
solidzesnake Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol, she just doesn't learn
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:iconforestwolfdragon:
ForestWolfDragon Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank god for that! :devilish:
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:iconmysam555:
mysam555 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
every pic looks nice in its own way, gr8 work
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:iconsolidzesnake:
solidzesnake Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you
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:iconlady-of-mud:
Lady-of-Mud Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Now I get what you were going for! XD

I love how she's technically webbed up twice here! :3

Wonderful work Dallas-Sensei! X3
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:iconsolidzesnake:
solidzesnake Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks chelsea chan, I am on YIM if you want to chat a bit more but as always things for the kind words and check out the verients
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:iconlady-of-mud:
Lady-of-Mud Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: I'd come onto YIM tonight but I have to get up early tomorrow so I'll be getting to bed soon T.T
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